Being capable will get you into situations you didn’t actually choose. Not in a dramatic way. Just slowly. You can do it, so you do it. You figure it out, so it gets handed to you again. You don’t complain, so it becomes your thing.
And then at some point it’s like…when did this become mine?
Nobody really asks.
They see that you can handle it and keep it moving. Which makes sense. Things need to get done.
“You can do it” turns into “you’ll do it” real quick. The worst part is, they’re not wrong. You can do it and probably even do it well. That’s where it gets tricky. Now the question isn’t about ability. It’s about whether you actually want to be the person responsible for it. Those are two different things.
Being capable just means you have the skill. It doesn’t mean it fits your time, your energy, or what you’re trying to move toward. Once something gets attached to you, it sticks. You become the go-to. The one who “knows how to handle it.” Now you’re maintaining something you never really chose.
This shows up everywhere. At work. In group settings. In random responsibilities that somehow land on the same person every time. If you don’t say anything, it keeps going. There’s also this quiet pressure to live up to what you’re good at.
Don’t get me wrong, if you can do something, you should. Not doing anything is a waste. Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is not take something on. Even if you could handle it, you must keep yourself in mind.
Being capable is not the same as being available and it’s definitely not the same as being obligated.
So before you automatically step in, it’s worth pausing for a second. Not “can I do this,” but “do I actually want to keep doing this?”