Technology has made it easier than ever to reach people. It hasn’t necessarily made us closer.
I can send a text, a voice note, an email, a meme, a reel, or react to someone’s story without thinking twice. I know what friends ate for dinner, where my coworkers went on vacation, and what my cousin’s new puppy looks like before we’ve had an actual conversation. That’s a strange tradeoff. We have more access to each other’s lives than ever before, but less certainty that we actually know how someone is doing.
I think we’ve started confusing updates with connection. Seeing someone’s highlight reel isn’t the same as hearing their voice. Liking a photo isn’t the same as sharing a meal. Reacting with a heart emoji isn’t the same as sitting with someone through a difficult conversation. None of those things are bad. They just do different jobs.
Social media is really good at keeping people visible. Relationships require something more than visibility. They require participation, time, curiosity, and the willingness to stay in a conversation after there’s nothing left to like.
I think that’s why some friendships can feel distant even when you know everything that’s happening in someone’s life. You know the milestones. You know the announcements. You know the vacations. You don’t necessarily know the person.
The opposite is true too. Some of my strongest relationships aren’t built on constant communication. They’re built on the confidence that when we do talk, we’re actually present. No performance, no audience, no algorithm deciding what deserves attention. Just two people catching up.
Maybe that’s what I’ve started appreciating more as I’ve gotten older. Not more ways to reach people. Just more moments where it actually feels like we did.